Everyone wants to be liked. When we’re young, the person who is liked the most is usually the most popular, most happy, and most successful.

But in the present day, most people are too busy to bother trying. They have given up becoming likable. Their high school days are over.

The most admirable people—very far and few—don’t give up.

They are still thought of highly by those around them. They seem to be liked by everyone. And they do this without vying for attention and popularity like high schoolers.

They do so by leveraging human nature and psychology.

I’ve spent hundreds of hours researching this topic—reading books, watching videos, viewing research papers, studying the best of the best.

This is the distilled version of all my findings in action steps you can immediately use—enjoy.

Before we start, remember this:

This power to be liked brings responsibility.

Everything should be genuine and sincere, otherwise it won't work.

Why would you want people to like you in the first place if you don't care about them?

3 UNIVERSAL LAWS

1. Golden Rule: Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

What would you like someone to say to you?

How would someone act for you to like them?

Depending on your personality, these answers will vary slightly.

However you answer these questions is how you should treat others.

We naturally hang out and want to hang out with people similar to us.

The key to making anyone like you is to like them first.

Practice treating people well no matter their status.

How would you feel if someone way better than you at something treated you really well? You would like them a lot more. You would remember them as a very nice person. You would tell all your friends how nice they were.

If they treated you poorly, your image of them would go down. You would lose respect and stop admiring them. You would tell your friends, "this person sucks."

Be the person everyone talks good about.

2. Law of Reciprocity: People feel obliged to return good will.

If you make them happy, they will try to make you happy.

If you bring them down, they will try to bring you down.

Remember this always. If you want to get people to do something you want, do something they want first.

3. Make them feel important: KEY FACTOR

• remember their name

• remember their birthday

• smile

• care about their interests

• listen

• praise

Making people feel important is the most important rule.

People who walk around acting like they own the world and not caring about their friends — they never have real friends.

Name

Everyone's favorite sound is their name.

If you can remember it, you leave a positive impression.

If you use it, you make them feel important.

Ask people their name and make an effort to remember it - it will give you power.

Imagine if you met someone from the gym.

A few weeks later, you see them again and yell "yoo what's up ( name)_"

Compare that to "yooo what's up dude"

The person would be pleasantly shocked you still remember them: you made them feel important.

Then if the person forgot your name, he will feel bad, and you will be in the power position.

I know this because it has happened to me before. Really bad position to be in — forgetting the other persons name.

Birthday

Everyone's favorite day is their birthday.

People don't go around telling their birthday to everyone, so they will be even more shocked if you remember it (especially if they don't remember telling you).

First, record all the birthday's you remember. Make a new calendar area just for birthday's.

Then, whenever you meet someone new (or for friend's birthdays you don't know) try to bring it up naturally in conversation.

• you seem like a June type of guy, were you born in June? (then proceed to ask for their birthday)

• Do you believe in Zodiac signs, when were you born?

• How old are you? Oh nice (I'm _ too) when's your birthday?

There are many other ways to ask for birthdays. If you wanted, you could just ask straight up, but people may think you're weird.

Once you have the birthday, repeat it over and over in your head, and as soon as you can, put it in your calendar.

Smile

A smile signals friend.

We naturally copy body language. If the person in front of you is smiling, you will smile.

Everyone likes a good smile.

If you can get them to smile, they will feel good, and those feel good emotions will be associated with you.

Care about their interests

To be interesting, be interested.

This explains itself and most people never think about doing this.

When you're talking with your friends, you're talking about similar interests.

This is why you can't be great friends with everyone: not everyone has the same interests.

Again, this is okay.

If you want someone to like you, then talk about their interests (even if it doesn't interest you).

BUT, you need to act like it interests you, and have an open mind.

You can't walk into a conversation thinking "okay I'm going to talk about their interests but I don't care."

They will notice you don't care, and if they do, they will dislike you because you made them feel unimportant.

Listen

If you want people to feel important, listen to them.

Don't act like your listening, actually listen.

One of the great listeners of modern times was Sigmund Freud. A man who met Freud described his manner of listening: “It struck me so forcibly that I shall never forget him. He had qualities which I had never seen in any other man. Never had I seen such concentrated attention. There was none of that piercing ‘soul penetrating gaze’ business. His eyes were mild and genial. His voice was low and kind. His gestures were few. But the attention he gave me, his appreciation of what I said, even when I said it badly, was extraordinary,

You've no idea what it meant to be listened to like that.”

This sums up the importance and how you should listen.

Praise

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

If someone isn't fed for a week, a horrible thing has occurred. Yet many live years without appreciation.

When you praise someone they will immediately like you.

There is a major difference between Praise and Flattery

One is sincere, the other isn't.

Flattery is telling the person exactly what they know about themself—they will hate you for that.

Finding Praise-able Attributes:

Every person you meet has so many aspects to praise, you just might not notice them.

1. focus on others instead of yourself

We love to focus on ourselves. When looking at a picture, the first thing you look at is yourself.

This is natural and not a bad thing.

But if you only focus on yourself all the time, you never will be able to find good things in others.

2. praise the smallest things

everything can be praised. It doesn't have to be some really impressive thing. You can praise their shoes, their clothes, their smile, their attitude, their talent.

Everything and anything.

3. The more you practice the better you get

You can see when your praise hits home. You can tell praise doesn't work.

The more you practice praising, the more you understand what type of praise people like (this is different for everyone).

Summary

You now have the power of the world at your fingertips: you know how to make anyone like you.

Golden Rule: Put yourself in the other person's shoes

• treat people well no matter their status

Law of Reciprocity: People feel obliged to return what you give them

• if you think of them as your friend, they will think of you as their friend

• if you like them, they will like you

Make people feel important: the secret to pleasing anyone

• Remember + use their name

• Remember their birthday

• Smile

• Talk about their interests

• Listen

• Praise

Remember: be sincere. Otherwise, everything will have the opposite effect.

Thanks for reading!

If you found this helpful — please share it with others!

P.S.

Last week I wrote about the best way to change using friends. Now that you have the power to become friends with anyone, you can utilize that newsletter for massive growth: